Dear Tanjourine...

To my lovely readers;

I have decided that this Tanjourine blog needs something more, so I have decided to become an agony aunt. Write me some letters to the email attached and I will post your letter, without your name, and respond here on the blog.

Here is the first letter I have received….

DEAR TANJOURINE: My mother is very strict about the use of obscenities, so I don't use them at home. However, I have become close friends with "Mallory," and cuss words are part of her normal speech.

I have been to Mallory's house where swear words are normal among her parents and siblings. (Her parents are worse than she is in this regard.) I know it's not right, but it's the way she has been brought up.

Recently, Mallory spent the night here, and my mother heard her cuss. My younger sister was in the room. After Mallory left, my mother said she will not tolerate such "filth" and said Mallory is no longer welcome in our home, especially because she thought nothing of exposing my sister to such language.

TANJOURINE, Mallory is a loyal, caring friend. Her behavior is the result of her upbringing. I don't think it's fair to ban her from our house. I would ask her not to talk this way in our home, but I think she might slip up and sometimes forget. Have you any suggestions? -- TARZANA, CALIF., TEEN

DEAR TARZANA;

First of all let’s get rid of the word “Cuss”. It is no longer acceptable in today’s common language. I prefer the term “swearing” or “dropping the f-bomb” if you will.

Secondly, tell your friend “Mallory” to read a book. An Archie Comic will do. This will enable her to learn a new form of language, and realize there are better words out there than she is using if she will only let her mind grow. From our friends Jughead and Big Moose she could borrow; “Aw Shucks” , “Drat”, or “Guffaw” if she is really stuck.

Just because her parents swear does not make it ok for her to continue this behavior. If her parents were hitting each other would it be ok for her to hit you? I doubt it.

And finally, tell your Mother to lighten up. Having children myself, I recognize that she doesn’t want verbal diarrhea coming from the mouths of her babes, but seriously lady, lead by example. Try explaining to your children why it is not appropriate instead of creating a bubble shaped prison and keeping them hostage. Does your mother really believe that you and your sister will never hear anyone swear? Or see them spit? Or speed? Honestly, sheltered children are the ones that end up socially behind the rest of us. Your Mother needs to learn to take it in, fix it up, and throw it right back out there.

Good luck with this one, and watch your language.

T

my readers...

I will cut to the chase, so send me your letters {real or fake} and I will respond in the style I know best; brutal honesty.

Have a great day!

*Liz