I'm sorry, Roger who?

So, like ya. I am now a total City-ot....rhymes with idiot....

I have moved my family, with my family, for my family, however you want to say it... to the city. Yay. Life is good. We are on a constant adventure. Everyday there is a new park to explore, new animals to see, and life to be lived. It is amazing. Really fun. It has also been hot hot hot and sunny so we will see how chipper I am after 9 months of rain...

The good news is there is a Costco right around the corner... therefor I am able to buy monster sized everything.... This is a good thing. I now have mustard to last the entire year. Honestly. I can eat popcorn everyday, and never run out. The thing about Costco that gets me is that everytime I go there, I end up spending at LEAST $300 and when I come out, I have to head to the grocery store to buy something for dinner... and it costs money to shop there... it costs money to shop everywhere, I mean a membership is required....$100! So, I have made a promise to myself to eat $100 worth of samples from Costco, thereby getting a full refund on my membership fee... HA! That will show them! Everytime I go to spend my $300 I will eat AT LEAST $1 worth of samples... Gotcha by the balls now, don't I Mr BigMustardSeller?
I thought I would mention that while I typed that last paragraph, I ate about 1/100th of a bag of trail mix.... no biggie right? WRONG! It's from costco. I basically ate enough peanuts to make peanut butter for an entire kindergarden class, ya know, if nuts were allowed.... Maybe those schools should just put a sign on the door that says "female food only, no nuts allowed"... ya know? .... nevermind....

So tonight, my daughter is off to sleep.. and says to me
"mummy, can you please tell me a story about a baby?'"
"of course sweetie..." we do this everynight.... "what should the baby's name be?"
"ummm... Hookah and Puke-ah"
me... "Ummm, those are interesting names.. Where did you learn those?"
Her "from Roger"
inside my head "WHO THE F IS ROGER???" because by the way, we don't know anyone named Roger. Well, I do, kind of, but not well. My daughter definitly does not know anyone named Roger, and as common of a name as it is, I should mention that it is very uncommon these days...
It was wierd.
So, Rog, Roger, Rogerello... If you read this, can you please stop teaching my daughter words like "hookah" and "Puke-a" because I really don't like bedtime stories about pipes and vomit...
Goodnight.
PS I have not blogged for over 2 months now... I just might get back into it. Except I will not call it blogging.

What leads you?

I woke up this morning really early.

Wait, let’s start again.

I was woken up this morning really early. Like 630 am early. For those of you that are like, so very smart, and read my last post where I said I was going to bed, you may have noticed it was at 1030pm and so you are thinking I had a nice 8 hours sleep and therefore I should be well rested. You are wrong. In fact, if you think that going to bed for 8 hours means I actually get even more than 7 hours sleep, you obviously don’t have children, so please keep that opinion to yourself because the mix of fatigue, caffeine and a little rage can be dangerous. Watch out.

Ok. Sorry about that. I am not actually mad at you, I just started typing and my fingers got out of control. They have issues. That was not my brain and heart speaking, it was only my fingers. Sometimes my fingers wake up and they almost hurt because I forgot to take care of them, put lotion on etc, then I fuel up on caffeine so they start to shake…and on top of that, I took my lovely diamond rings off last night, so my poor fingers feel like they have been robbed, and they are not feeling very pretty this morning. Like I said, my fingers have issues.

Alright, I walked away…put on my sparkling rings and rubbed in some Bath and Body Works Fresh Pineapple Antibacterial Moisturizing hand lotion…love that stuff… anyways, my fingers are a lot happier now so maybe they can let me write about what I want to write about, you know, if my fingers can like let go for a minute and do what they are meant to do, type what I tell them, not what they feel like….. here we go…

Well, way to go fingers, now that you have spent so much freaking time in charge here my heart has lost the fire for what it wanted to write about...{camping}..And now my brain is on a different thought path about control.

I was just typing about how my fingers are in control, etc, I don’t need to tell you, you read it, and then I stopped and thought to myself {bear with me here, it is still early for my brain} what other body parts can we let lead?

There are all sorts of talk about “follow your heart” etc but what about the other parts? What if we went on a mission and decided to let our body lead, or more specifically, one part of our body, at a time, to see where it led us.

If you were to focus on something specific, where would it lead you?

Ok. If you are a man, and reading this, I think we all know what part you are thinking of, and where it would lead you…. However let’s try and think outside the box…yes, I know how funny that last sentence can be.

If you were to let your legs lead, for example, where would they take you…keeping in mind that you have to ignore your lungs, and everything else…would they run? Hike? Swim? Or just lay down flat exhausted from being walked around everywhere? I think mine would probably go for a walk, treat themselves to a massage, then ask to be shaved before they got lotioned up and threw themselves into a nice pair of pants, or cute skirt…then realistically my legs would want to go out dancing, jumping on tables, and doing the shuffle. They are crazy like that.

What about your stomach? Where would that take you? Would it really want to be stuffed to the brim with food, or would that be more of your tongue leading and not really thinking of the consequences your poor stomach would have to endure. My stomach would not go for coffee, I can tell you that much for sure. When I drink coffee it is a selfish act on behalf of my brain, and my brain does not care much for my stomach. No, my stomach would probably eat a nice lunch, a salad, some bread, and some pasta, but not too much; just enough to be full, and then it would want to hang out. Literally. It would want to get whatever fabric that was covering it off and go lay in the sun…and no one would touch it… {See my post “can I touch your belly”}

Eyes: where would they take you? What would your eyes really want to see, and feel? People? Nature? TV? Sports? Mine would totally people watch, watch a sunset, watch my children explore, and then go for a facial…. With eye treatment of course. Oh ya, and they would watch reality TV.

Hmm... Weird stuff to think about.

Let your body lead you, I am curious to know where it takes you. Send me a message and let me know what happens…I am interested to know what parts rule you.

Now I have to go. My arms are leading, and they are aching to hug my little girl.

ZZZZZZ

I am so tired. Sooooo tired. So tired that I can't sit up straight. I am practically leaning on the keyboard...
But why am I up?
Because everyone else is asleep. So now, for 5 minutes, I can listen to the sounds of silence....nice.
I love love love my family, but it must be a mummy thing I guess...the need to stay up past the point of exhaustion, just to prove that yes, I can still get time alone.
OK. I can not even think.
Gouda Nighta buddy....
*E
PS Softball rules

letter to the paper

So the paper didn't print my letter....lame.... here it is in case you are interested.... and yes...I went back and dismantled the fire pit and cleaned up the garbage.

To the ignorant people{person} that think they own this world.

Congratulations! You can pee in a bush!
Way to go! You can build a fire!

Hurray! You figured out how to crush a can!

The next time you decide to showcase your amazing talents, please do so in your own home. The big chairs that the municipality put on the west side of Alta Lake are there for everyone to enjoy. I don’t want to explain to my 2 year old daughter why there are burnt sticks lying around, why someone left beer cans all over the sand, and most importantly why there are piles of toilet paper strewn through the bushes. Your mother would be ashamed. How did these things get there? I am assuming that you carried them with you to this {once} beautiful spot. The next time you decide to pack in cans of beer, and a roll of toilet paper, pack them out. Guess what? EMPTY CANS WEIGH LESS!!! And maybe you could bring along a plastic bag to carry out your soiled toilet paper. A doggie poop bag perhaps? Yes I know, you are not a dog, a dog wouldn’t leave behind the remnants of a fire or empty beer cans. A dog wouldn’t use toilet paper. You are most definitely not a dog, but you are certainly a pig.